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'Thou Shalt Not Admit Adultery'

Apr 18, 2012 - By Carolyn B. Tyler

From a Catholic school comes some of the funniest answers to questions posed to young students.

An Internet friend shared the following from a teaching nun who was grading papers.

The students were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible purportedly were written by the children. They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in:

- In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

- Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.

- Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.

- Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

- The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.

- The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

- The Seventh Commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery."

- Moses died before he ever reached Canada, then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.

- The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

- Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

- When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

- When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

- Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

- St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and manager to get the tombstone off the entrance.

- The people who followed the Lord were called the Twelve Decibels.

- The Epistels were the wives of the Apostles.

- One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

- Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

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