The Ranger (beta)

Fremont County's Daily Newspaper

News of Riverton, Lander and Fremont County, Wyoming, from the Ranger's award winning journalists.

Ranger Login

I hope there there's no pop quiz ...

May 16, 2012 - By Carolyn B. Tyler

I've often said that puns are my favorite form of humor, and lately some Internet friends have shared some really good ones, which I share with you here today:

- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

- When chemists die, they barium.

- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

- How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O.

- Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

- Were going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

- I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

- When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

- Broken pencils are pointless.

- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

- I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

- All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

- Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

- Velcro -- what a rip off!

- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

- Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

Related content: