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Naps, sheets, snooze buttons

Feb 15, 2012 - By Carolyn B. Tyler

With "maturity" come some "adult truths" shared with me recently. If you have reached that mature place in life, you'll understand these:

- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- There is great need for a sarcasm font.

- How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

- Was learning cursive writing really necessary?

- Map Quest really needs to start its directions on No. 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories.

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my video collection... again.

- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of my word-processing program and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger -- and so does my waistline.

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word the other person just said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when the drivers of an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. But pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding the cell phone or the remote control, and pinning the tail on the Donkey -- but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed -- first time, every time.

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