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Naps, sheets, snooze buttons

Feb 15, 2012 By Carolyn B. Tyler

With "maturity" come some "adult truths" shared with me recently. If you have reached that mature place in life, you'll understand these:

- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- There is great need for a sarcasm font.

- How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

- Was learning cursive writing really necessary?

- Map Quest really needs to start its directions on No. 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories.

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my video collection... again.

- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of my word-processing program and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger -- and so does my waistline.

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word the other person just said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when the drivers of an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. But pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding the cell phone or the remote control, and pinning the tail on the Donkey -- but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed -- first time, every time.

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