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Twelve ways exercise is overrated

Feb 22, 2012 - The San Jose Mercury News

Health advocates are always impressing upon us the importance of walking -- or, in my case (st)rolling, but an Internet friend recently poo-pooed that with the following observations:

- Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month.

- My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the heck he is.

- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

- The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

- I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

- I joined a health club last year, and spent about 250 bucks. I haven't lost a pound. Apparently you actually have to go there.

- Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise," I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

- I do have flabby thighs, but my stomach covers them.

- The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, "She looks good doesn't she."

- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

- I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.

- We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
 

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